Writing a novel is a lot like growing out an unfortunate pixie cut. It takes time and patience. I ended up doing both of these at the same time.
Stage 1: Euphoria
During this time you think “Oh look at me! This is so great! I feel so FREE!”
Your writing is brilliant, your hair is easy and manageable. Everyone compliments you on your hair while silently judging you and scoffing when you tell them you’re writing a novel.
Stage 2: Realization of fat face
Ah, so you’ve been at it for a few months. Now your characters aren’t following the outline, your hair only looks good for a week between trims, and you realize maybe you aren’t as brilliant and free as you thought. And, by the way, you are really rethinking your perception of the shape of your face. Why did your stylist tell you that you could “totally rock a pixie”? What the heck was she thinking? Ginnifer Goodwin can rock her adorable pixie cut despite the roundness of her face because she’s clearly an actual pixie, therefore she has magical powers.
Stage 3: The Mullet
Here you are, during the most awkward period of all. You’re convinced that your hair only grows out rather than down and have resisted the urge to visit your traitor of a hair stylist. Your novel is mostly done but you keep going back through and editing while writing. Basically, you spend most of your time doubting your life choices and avoiding mirrors.
Stage 4: Acceptance
You’ve done it! Your novel is complete, your hair is through the fire swamp of the dreaded mullet stage, and you’ve realized you’ll never cut it that short again. Now, time to kick off the proverbial shoes and celebrate with a glass or two of wine while waiting for those BETA readers to get back to you with feedback about your brilliant novel.
Stage 5: Overconfidence
Maybe you should call your stylist and talk about going platinum? That’s a fantastic idea. You can totally pull it off with your skin tone.